Birth stories for Kate, Zach, and Tess

Kate's birth story:

On August 6, 1999, my husband, Guy, and I met with our HypnoBirthing instructor for our fourth and final class. Ten days later, on Monday, August 16, I woke in the morning to get ready to go to work like any other day. When I went to the bathroom before my shower, however, I discovered I had passed the uterine seal. We called the OB practice and Russ, our certified nurse-midwife, was on call. He suggested that we come in to the office later for a labor check. So Guy and I jumped into the car at 6:30 am to run into Hartford to get enough paperwork for me to work at home that day. When we arrived back home, we got a doctor appointment for 2:30 that afternoon for a labor check. Since it was possible that we'd be told that we were in labor and to check ourselves into the hospital, Guy packed the car. I started my workday.

We went to the doctor's office for our appointment and saw the same doctor who had examined me the previous Friday for my routine visit. He had done an internal check three days ago and discovered that my cervix was 2 cm opened and 50% thinned. I was happy that our labor check would be done by the same doctor - we would be able to compare apples to apples.

He came into the exam room and said, "You're here for a labor check?! You're not in labor!" This was said as he walked into the room and hadn't even touched me. He did another internal while the nurse told us, "You'll know when you're in labor!" The doctor admitted that we had progressed some, but not much, so he sent us home. We were disappointed - we had hoped this was it! I finished my workday at home without incident.

I did notice, however, that occasionally when I rested my hands on my belly, my palms could feel a tightening. I mentioned this to Guy and we wondered if I was experiencing Braxton-Hicks. I wasn't feeling anything inside other than the baby's usual movements.

I worked until 5 pm and took a nap, as I often did in the evenings. I got up around 7 pm, had dinner, and went to bed for the night at 10 pm. Everything was just like any other night.

However, at midnight, my membranes released. I was awakened from a sound sleep with the impression that someone had dumped a pail of warm water on top of me. I called to Guy, who was working on his dissertation at the computer. He came running. Luckily, I had worn a sanitary pad to bed, which absorbed much of the liquid. Guy helped me to the bathroom, where I sat while he called the hospital and my mom.

My body started to feel as if I were having a period. Kind of crampy. I started getting nervous.

Guy came back to report that a nurse at the hospital said to get some sleep and to come in when the surges were 4-5 minutes apart. So we went to bed and listened to the Rainbow Relaxation tape. The bedside clock said 1:02 am when I got up to go to the bathroom. A surge had just passed before I stood up. Before I got to the bathroom (7-8 paces away), I felt another one. I asked Guy what time the clock said. He told me, "1:04." I said, "They're two minutes apart. Call the hospital." We had never timed them before going to bed.

The hospital said to come in immediately. Thank goodness the car was packed already. It took me 20-25 minutes to get out to the car. It took so long because whenever I felt a surge, I had to stand still and concentrate in order to relax completely, but they were really starting to hurt. I remember thinking, "I don't think I can do this for 36 hours."

We were in the car at about 1:30 am. Even before that night, the bumps at the end of our road were uncomfortable, but that night they were horrible. I told Guy to drive really fast between the surges and really slowly and carefully during them. He knew when because I would squeeze his hand while trying to relax.

I tilted the seat back because I was more comfortable without a bend at the hips. I realized that I was fighting the surges and that I needed to relax, but I didn't feel like I could.

It took 15 minutes to drive to the hospital. They were expecting us, so a wheelchair was on the way to the Emergency Room and Russ, our certified nurse-midwife, had been called. I sat in the wheelchair when it arrived, but had to stand up with each surge, so it took a while to get to the end of the corridor and the elevator. When the elevator arrived, I was standing and breathing through a surge and couldn't move to get on. The elevator doors closed and the wheelchair attendant said, "We have to get on the next one." I think he was getting nervous.

The doors opened again and we got on, but another surge had arrived when we got to the right floor. Guy embraced me and moved me off the elevator. The nurses met us and started to move us toward our room when all of a sudden, I threw up. All I had consumed was a few sips of water at midnight, so I was surprised. The nurses assured us that it wasn't unusual.

They wheeled me to our room and I announced that I had to go to the bathroom. Terri, one of the nurses, showed me to the bathroom and asked if I wanted to be alone. I replied that I didn't think that was a good idea. Moments later, I told her I felt the urge to push. She started moving rapidly - she helped me get undressed and back to the bed. I said that I wanted to birth while standing, but she replied that since Russ hadn't yet arrived, she was short a pair of hands and needed me to be on the bed. So I decided to kneel on the foot of the bed. Terri did a quick internal check to learn that the baby was at station +2 - almost crowning.

I leaned heavily on a bar at the midpoint on the bed facing Guy who was sitting near the head of the bed. Russ arrived just as I started pushing, which was completely mother-led. I pushed for 10 minutes and it really hurt when the baby crowned, but the perineal massage worked! No perineum tears! I was worried that the quickness of the labor wouldn't allow the perineum to stretch adequately, so I never really pushed hard. My muscles just did what they were designed to do and Kate was born at 2:11 am - less than 30 minutes after we arrived at the hospital!

Guy and the nurses helped me turn over to receive Kate. She started nursing immediately and the placenta was expelled easily. After it had stopped pulsating and had turned white, Guy cut the cord. Russ gave me two small stitches to the inner labia because I had had a slight inner tear. Kate had been born with her hand on her face, so her little elbow caught me on the way out. Her birth was completely unmedicated and without any medical intervention. Yahoo!

SOME LESSONS FROM KATE'S BIRTH:

1. I suspect that practicing my HypnoBirthing tapes resulted in a state of constant relaxation. This relaxed state may explain why I literally felt nothing resembling labor before my membrane released at midnight even though my body must have been in labor for hours. I was also able to fall immediately into a deep sleep for my nap at 5 pm and again at 10 pm for what I thought would be the night. In addition, I put in a full workday without any issues. All told, I experienced my labor for literally 2 hours and 11 minutes. So the OB doctor and nurse were wrong - my body may have been laboring for hours before my mind knew it!

2. I believe that one of the biggest reasons I experienced discomfort (and pain near the end of labor) was because I was nervous and scared. This fear created tension in my body and that tension caused the pain. I didn't realize how close we were to Kate's birth when my membrane released. All those other women's birth stories came crashing down on me. Remember, "I don't think I can do this for 36 hours...?" In the car, I actually thought that maybe I would get an epidural. The car ride to the hospital made labor more difficult because I was not able to completely concentrate on relaxing. Having a hospital birth necessitated that drive; if I had planned a homebirth, I may have been able to completely relax and fall asleep using the Rainbow tape and wake up in time for Kate's birth. In addition, she was born at 37 weeks gestation, so I wasn't really expecting her yet. Her arrival was a bit of a surprise.

3. The hospital nurses didn't realize how far along my labor was. Again, I didn't look like the usual mother 15 minutes before birthing. This was demonstrated by Terri asking me if I wanted to be alone in the bathroom upon arrival to our birthing room. If she had realized that the baby was almost crowning, she wouldn't have asked that!

Birth stories for Kate, Zach, and Tess

Zach's birth story:

Well, my son Zach was born in 2002 on May 9 (his Daddy's birthday too!). He was 8#, 3.5 oz and 22 inches long. It wasn't a classically simple HypnoBirthing, unfortunately, but it was a successful HypnoBirthing. We experienced a couple of special circumstances.

My birthing process started at 1 am, but it really hurt! I tried relaxing in all different positions, but couldn't get it to abate. I realized that the surges were happening every 3 or 4 minutes, and that it didn't hurt until the middle of them, and that it only hurt at the base of my uterus along the crease at the top of my thighs. When the midwife arrived, we realized that it was the round ligaments that were hurting me - and ligaments don't respond to deep relaxation! These ligaments were worn out from a respiratory virus that had been aggravating me for the past week and causing me to cough incessantly. I guess when the surges were pulling up and opening the cervix, they were also pulling on the ligaments. The surges themselves didn't hurt at all! I could tell I was having one due to a tightening feeling, or if my hands were resting on my belly. I'll tell you, I was mad! Here I was, deeply relaxing, doing all the right things for a HypnoBirthing, and it still hurt. Ugh! These ligaments also prevented me from lying down on my side, my back in a reclining position, or even on my knees. It was just too painful. They demanded that I be standing and swaying back and forth, up and down.

After laboring for 9 hours, my lungs were burning and my legs were burning. I felt like I must be completely dilated - I had all the hallmark signs - spotting on the pad, feeling like I couldn't do this anymore, temperature fluctuations, etc. My midwife checked just to make sure and discovered that I was only 6 cm and the baby was oblique and wasn't even presenting his head!

To be completely honest, at this point I decided that I needed an epidural (didn't happen) because I couldn't breathe anymore and needed the pain to stop. I told her it was time to transport to the hospital. So we got into the car and by the time we arrived at the hospital (7 min ride) the baby had changed position. When we arrived and were checked, I was 9 cm. The nurse berated me to give a little push to open the cervix to 10. The only way she would let me stand back up again was to do it, but I was mad again! At that point I said, "Great, now we can go home again!" But Zach's head was now ready to come down, so as soon as I stood back up again, she said to start pushing. I said that I didn't want to push, that I was going to breathe the baby down which I did for a few minutes. The doctor wanted me to get back into or onto the bed because she'd never received while the mom was standing, but I said, "Sorry, not going to happen." The nurse started perineal massage and I told her to get out of there and put my hand over my perineum to protect it. Then the uterus gave two expelling surges and his head was born. So I received Zach's head - mine were the first hands to touch him! That was really neat. Crowning and birthing his head were easy. No problems or pain. But as his shoulder came out, they discovered that his other shoulder had the cord wrapped around it, so they pulled it out. I felt that and said, "Don't pull! Don't pull!" Too late, that's when I think I tore. I think the cord being wrapped around his shoulder is what kept Zach in an oblique position for weeks.

Now in hindsight, I think if I hadn't been so sick and tired from lack of sleep due to coughing, I would have been able to go up and down the stairs several times to help Zach get into the right position and would have been able to birth at home. Or if Zach had been in position at the cervix, then I would have been able to manage being sick. But I didn't have the wherewithal to manage both. But I still had a natural, vaginal birth without interventions and now I have my beautiful baby. If not for HypnoBirthing, I think that this may have turned out to be a highly medicalized birth. Thank goodness for Mickey!

Unfortunately, they took Zach to the bassinet across the room because they assigned him an initial APGAR of 5 and he was a little blue. Guy, my fabulous husband, stayed with him, always having a hand on him. As soon as I got on the bed for 3rd stage, I insisted that they bring the baby to me NOW. As soon as the nurses paused, Guy picked him up and took him away from them to bring him to me. We had immediate skin-to-skin and breastfeeding. He was/is perfect. Our doula told me later that she didn't think he was a 5 APGAR at all. She thinks they just said that to justify taking him. His second APGAR was 8, so no problems.

I think I learned a lot from this birth - not the least that just because the first child is born at 37 weeks (my daughter Kate), the next one may have his own schedule - Zach was born at 41 weeks. Maybe he would have been earlier if he hadn't been oblique. Who knows? But it was a very long 4 weeks from 37 to 41. I was emotionally and psychologically prepared for a baby at about 37 weeks! I had been under the very false theory that women have varying gestation periods, but that each woman will probably gestate for roughly the same period of time with each baby. WRONG!

Birth stories for Kate, Zach, and Tess

Tess' birth story:

Tess' birth was fabulous. She was born on Ash Wednesday, Feb 9, 2005. Since my two previous births had been at night or had started at night, I asked this baby to start labor after breakfast and a shower. I also requested that she (I thought I was carrying a girl) be born by 3pm (so my adrenaline would be low enough after birth to let me sleep that night), in the water, and head first. Tess agreed to all these requests!

On Wednesday morning, Guy had a meeting at work until 9:30. At about 9am, it felt like we might have an exciting day. I called his voice mail at work to ask him to come home after the meeting, but not to rush. Everything was fine. By then, I had already eaten breakfast and had my shower and gotten dressed. The kids were playing with Mema, my mom. I just wandered around the house and would squat whenever I felt a surge. I was hoping I could help them be really efficient.

Guy arrived home around 10:15 and we started timing the surges and making a log. I felt fine. By late morning, I decided to call Ruth, our midwife.

Ruth asked if she could make a stop before coming over, and I said, "Absolutely. We have plenty of time."

Zach went down for his nap and I called Brandi, our doula, whose role was to be available for the kids if they wanted to be present for the baby's birth. I asked her to come over around 2 pm, when I expected Zach to be awake.

Ruth arrived around 12:30 pm and observed me during a few surges, and asked me how long I had been working so hard to get through them. I answered that I wasn't working hard, and she repeated the question, more forcefully. I realized then that this was Ruth's first HypnoBirthing, so she wasn't familiar with normal HypnoBirthing moms' behavior. She really wanted to know how long the surges had been feeling that strong, so I told her that it had been around 90 minutes. She immediately called the other midwife, Marlene. Marlene was at Ash Wednesday services and she would be over when they were finished.

Because I didn't want to get into the water tub too early, Guy and I went down to the basement TV room to watch Friends on DVD. I went to the bathroom and realized that the surges were getting pretty strong. I wanted to stand through them and lean heavily on Guy. We decided to go upstairs and get into the birthing tub we had rented from Waterbirth International.

It felt really good to get into the water. The room was quiet and dim. My music was playing. When Zach awoke from his nap, Guy took him downstairs to play with Mema and Kate. I was on my hands and knees in the water. I got out of the water to go to the bathroom, which was a pretty cold walk on a cold tile floor. As I sat on the toilet with Guy to my right and Ruth to my left, I started shivering even though I was wearing my bathrobe. Ruth asked me if I was cold or if I was shaking for another reason, and I said probably both. She told me that if I wanted to have a water birth, I had better get back into the tub, so we shuffled back into the birthing room.

Kate came up to visit and sat in Marlene's lap for a little while. Because my eyes were closed, I wasn't aware that Marlene and Brandi had arrived, nor did I know about Kate's visit. Everyone was really quiet. Guy got into the water with me and I draped myself over his shoulders. I would vocalize with each surge and got to the point of wondering when the baby would be born. I didn't feel like we were making any progress. (I had not had any internal exams.) I realize now that those thoughts were the final hallmark of labor - wanting the birth to be over. Indeed Tess was born at 2:52 pm, less than an hour after our doula arrived. I experienced the birthing reflex when the birthing body pushes the baby out. I think she was born in three or four of the expulsive surges. What power our bodies have! She weighed 8# 4 oz and she looked exactly like my other two children. We must be making clones around here!

Having a home birth with Ruth was absolutely amazing. The birth was peaceful, quiet, and all mine. Of all my births, I've never felt safer.

Birth stories for Kate, Zach, and Tess